Why start here?
One of our mottos is “He + She = We,” so the work we do with couples relates to helping them find their “We” - their unique blend of “He + She.”
Are your conversations like playing a game without rules? This is a good place to mention our book, Communicating by the Rules: Remove Roadblocks, Refuel & Restore Relationships.
Imagine a football game with unspoken rules, made up as the game moves along. Players are penalized, even when they don’t know a rule exists. Everybody doesn’t have to play by the rules, but everybody is judged by them. The game begins in the stands but can move anywhere, because there are no boundaries. One team is dressed for snow skiing, and the other for swimming. There are multiple balls in play - a football, a ping pong ball, and a hockey puck. That’s not a ball, but it’s ok because we’ll call it a ball! Points are scored however players decide, and there’s no referee. In addition, there’s no time limit: It ends when a team gives up or is injured.
Sounds like a mess, right? Yet this is happening with communication, and we wonder what went wrong. Conversations go out of bounds, and it isn’t okay. There are so many topics in play, we don’t know what we’re talking about anymore. There were multiple missteps, but who knew? Without rules, one pursues the other to play, while the other withdraws to avoid it!
Rules pair his and her expectations, so we’re playing the same game the same way with the same goal. While communication is no game, it needs rules to keep it in bounds and accomplish its goals. What are the rules? Who decides? In this book, we’ll walk through basic rules for communication to help you discover your unique rules and apply them to various types of conversations. We’ll lay out expanding communication to support stabilizing, healing, and deepening your relationship. So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to play ball!
COMING SOON! MAY 2026!
Below are steps we use that have been very effective and efficient for helping couples improve their relationship, regardless of where they are on the spectrum of relating. Which best describes the journey you’d like to take:
extremely negative to less negative negative to neutral neutral to positive positive to intimate
Wherever we start, there are hurdles between where we are and where we want to be. The intensity varies depending on where we are on the spectrum of marital relationship. However, while the details vary from couple, the dynamics are similar because we have a male and female in the intimate relationship of marriage. Who tells us how to avoid the pitfalls and find the pathway that leads to marital oneness? We didn’t know and fell into them ourselves! Our hope is to help others avoid the marital pitfalls or come out of them and repair the damage. Once we’re on stable ground, we can deepen our relationship.