Imagine a football game with unspoken rules, made up as the game moves along. Players are penalized, even when they don’t know a rule exists. Everybody doesn’t have to play by the rules, but everybody is judged by them.

Sounds like a mess, right? This is happening with communication, and we wonder what went wrong. Conversations go out of bounds, and it isn’t okay. There are so many topics in play, we don’t know what we’re talking about anymore.

Rules pair his and her expectations, so we’re playing the same game the same way with the same goal. While communication is no game, it needs rules to keep it in bounds and accomplish its goals. In this book, we’ll walk through basic rules for communication to help you discover your unique rules and apply them to various types of conversations. We’ll lay out expanding communication to support stabilizing, healing, and deepening your relationship.