Start Blessing Marriages

Do you desire to strengthen marriages for your church, business, or organization, but are not sure where to start? 

There are all kinds of ideas, and here are some to get you started.

Develop a team of couples caring for couples and develop them through progressive skill levels of care by beginning with marriage mentor couples having a level of influence who will be developed via phases into Biblical lay counselors specialized to minister to couples with various needs.  You might choose your own terminology for the couples trained at each level of care.  The following steps are ideas to get started. 

STEP 1

1.     Present for approval to your pastor or appropriate leader the idea of having a team of couples caring for couples.

2.     Start with a qualified leader to oversee the team.

3.     This leader should go through all training before offering training to others.

·      Do your own mentor training.  We recommend becoming a mentor couple via Marriage Mentoring Academy at marriagementoring.com or purchasing the training materials to study then use to train others.

·      Become trained to prepare couples for marriage with a good assessment.  We recommend becoming a SYMBIS facilitator via symbis.com and considering an organizational account with them.  

·      Become trained as a counselor.  This can be accomplished via formal studies leading to a degree or certification.

·      Continue your education to stay aware of current information relating to the couples you reach.

STEP 2

1.     Come up with a list of candidates of couples known to have solid, healthy, spiritually-mature marriages.

2.     Share the vision of caring for couples and invite them to begin as a mentor couple – entry-level caring for couples.  

3.     Have them complete an application to gather information pertinent to caring for couples and assessing for any problem areas and for them to agree to availability to meet a minimum of once monthly for a 4-6 month commitment.

4.     If you do not already know these couples personally, get leader references.

5.     Do an interview even if you know them.  The idea is to be sure you are aware of their spiritual maturity, marital health, people skills, and passion for ministering to marriages.

6.     Do a background check.

7.     Have them purchase the marital mentoring his/her workbooks in preparation for the training session.

8.     Schedule a training session.  This is a good time to connect with them and discuss their questions and concerns.

9.     Provide them with information and resources about mentoring on this level and about working with couples.

Step 3

1.     Invite couples to connect with your couples.

2.     Have interested couples complete an application helpful for pairing them with a mentor couple.

3.     Use the application to pair the interested couple with a mentor couple.

4.     Send the couple information about this relationship to clarify the role of their mentor couple on this level and to provide helpful information for connecting with them.

5.     Oversee relationships by staying in touch with the mentor couples as the relationship takes off and at specified times during and at the end of the relationship.

6.     Develop mentor couples on this level by caring for their marriages and providing information they can use in caring for couples.

Step 4

1.     Establish your own checklist of requirements for advancing mentor couples to preparing engaged couples for marriage.  Consider including a signed confidentiality agreement to keep on file for each premarital mentor couple.

2.     Develop the process to be used to prepare couples for marriage.

3.     After mentor couples have successfully completed some relationships with couples, invite them to train to prepare couples for marriage.

4.     Have the mentor couples purchase materials related to those you will use with your premarital couples.  We recommend Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts with its his/her workbooks by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott along with Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start: A Guide for Engaged and Newlywed Couples by Clifford and Joyce Penner.

5.     For the mentor couples, use the premarital facilitator training process you completed.

6.     Have your newly-trained couple shadow an experienced couple as they unpack an assessment report with a premarital couple.

7.     Provide the premarital mentor couples information they will need to succeed as they prepare couples for marriage.

8.     Meet with the newly trained premarital mentor couple to discuss processes involved in caring for premarital couples.

9.     We suggest having your premarital mentor couples add this role and continue availability as a mentor couple, especially as you build your team and may need help on other levels of care.

Step 5

1.     When engaged couples request preparation for marriage, make an intake call to be aware of problem areas the premarital couple might have to be sure the premarital mentor couple is adequately prepared to meet the needs of this couple.

2.     Assign the engaged couple to an appropriate premarital mentor couple.

3.     We suggest about 6 sessions to unpack the assessment, along with a follow-up session 6 months after the wedding.

4.     Oversee the sessions.  We recommend having the premarital mentor couples complete a post-session report after each meeting with the engaged couple to keep you aware of the dynamics of the relationship.

5.     We suggest meeting with premarital mentor couples quarterly to provide information to assist them in preparing couples for marriage, to care for their own marriages, and to develop them as leaders.

Step 6

1.     Do your own study on developing a team of lay Biblical counselors.  We suggest as a resource Lay Counseling Equipping Christians for a Helping Ministry by Siang-Yang Tan & Eric T. Scalise.

2.     Establish your own checklist of requirements for advancing premarital mentor couples to caring for couples in challenged marriages.  

3.     We suggest defining levels of care and developing appropriate training for each level.  For example, level one marital mentoring would address stable marriages in need of learning skills to hurdle one to two issues.  Level two marital mentoring might address couples considering divorce with no additional issues. Level tree marital mentoring might include secondary issues such as infidelity, addictions, trauma, etc. There would be additional training for progressive levels of care.

4.     Develop the process to be used to care for married couples at each level of care.

5.     Establish guidelines for identifying when and how to refer.

6.     We recommend developing 40-50 hours of training or suggest course work or certification appropriate for caring for married couples.

7.     Invite the premarital mentor couples to advance their training to care for married couples. 

8.     Present to the couples the training needed to begin level-one care for marriages.

9.     Have the couples purchase materials related to caring for married couples and complete the training.

10.  Provide the newly-trained level-one marital mentor couples information they will need to succeed as they care for couples struggling with basic marital issues.

11.  Meet with the newly-trained level-one marital mentor couple to discuss processes involved in caring for married couples.

12.  We suggest having the level-one marital mentor couples continue their previous availability, especially as you build your team and may need help on other levels of care.

13.  Consider bimonthly meetings for continued education, strengthening mentor marriages, developing leadership, Biblical application to marital topics, and discussions of any challenges needing addressed.

14.  We recommend supervision of marital mentor couples as they learn to care for those in distressed marriages.  We suggest post-session reports and weekly or biweekly meetings to discuss sessions.

15.  Repeat this series of steps for additional levels of marital care.

 Step 7

1.     This group of suggestions applies to each of the previous steps.

2.     Have a lead couple for each level.

3.     Stay in touch with all mentor couples on all levels.

4.     Provide continued oversight and care of the team.

5.     Regularly evaluate your own skill sets and those of your team remain equipped and growing in your ability to care for couples.

If you’d like help, contact us to let us know!